I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
