i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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