I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
