Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize
