the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
