So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
