i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
