So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
is that a dick in a sweater?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
