I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
