playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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