y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
