Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
