Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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