'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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