how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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