look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
