I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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