thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
