Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
