Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I believe in your delicious
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize