If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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