I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
