I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
