shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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