no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
