how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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