it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
