I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Screwed.edu
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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