This is not my ceiling
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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