The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
