Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
