There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
