I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
