My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
