I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
