Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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