I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
