I'm jealous of your bromance
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
