It's Friday. Sex?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
