Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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