I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
