Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
