is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
