I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
