it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
did you just send me my own nude
so much tequila, so little girl.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize