Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
