Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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