I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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