4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
