Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
