Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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