I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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