ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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