I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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