i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
