I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
