Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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