Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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